The homepage is now being cached on the server every 5 minutes, meaning if we get swamped with visitors again like when we were Slashdotted, this will reduce server load. Also, I can now run more intensive requests on the homepage since the intensive code won't be run every pageload. What does this mean to you? Don't worry about it... just know that the "newest" everything may be up to 5 minutes old.

 

It's supposed to be working, at least. Very frustrating.

 

Finally working. Admittedly, I cheated by doing it yet another roundabout way. But from a developer's standpoint, I get 10 points for creativity.